Welcome 2015!

There is no time like the end of one year and the beginning of another to experience the reality of past, present, and future all becoming one.

We look back, reflect, count both our blessings and our sorrows.

We live in the moment, watching a ball drop in a cold and windy city where millions of people stand, even as we do also, jumping up, hugging and kissing one another, sipping champagne, welcoming the New Year.

We look ahead, daring to hope that maybe we can make the changes we see in our hearts a reality in the future. Those dreams, which before seemed only elusive, like a carrot dangled at a considerable distance in front of our noses, appear closer.

We can smell the carrot. We believe we can grab it… even for a few minutes.

That carrot, for me, has always been about following my heart.

So when my intuition leads me forward, I listen.

This blog has meant so many things to me. It has enabled me to get through a difficult period of transition in my life- weather a divorce, get a job, and most importantly… find my voice.

And although it may seem odd that once finding it, I am now choosing not to use it here, I suspect there are greater purposes for letting this go as I walk ahead in my creative journey, letting one open passage lead to another.

Thank you to my faithful followers. Without your support and encouragement I would not have made it through to this new and delightful place.

What I have shared here, and on my first blog, remains a testimony to my personal story, one that will continue to be an open passage for readers who happen here, either by chance or choice.

I have spoken in recent months about wings- the ones I now see I have, the ones I now intend to spread.

These wings, recently found in between some blankets in a bin in my basement, are my sign.

There are seasons when we tell stories and dream and write about living.

Then comes the season of doing just that- living with abandon the love we have discovered within ourselves.

That is the open passage I see ahead, a beautifully broad place with an incredible view.

Come with me. Believe. Savor the taste of the carrot.

Pull that rabbit out of a hat.

LIVE!

Happy, Happy New Year!
With love, Always,

Danese XOXO

DSC_2776

DSC_2762

DSC_2765

DSC_2785

Stable

I discovered this painting in the small chapel of my church back in June.

Last Sunday I invited my son-in-law, Brad, in to see it with me. He and Dale, my son, are making an unexpected move from where they thought they would be for the next couple years -New York City- to Sewanee, Tennesee in January.

And I, having dreams of moving, know that 2015 holds more substantial change, most likely a physical move from the dwelling I have called home for 13 years.

Both of us stood looking at the picture.

Brad mentioned Mary, bending over her newborn son.

I mentioned the star- pointing to it, emphasizing the long tail, the position of it over the baby.

In our common places of uncertainty, we both continued to look at the stable.

A shelter for animals.

The birthplace for God’s son.

And a word that also means “firmly established.”

photo

You knelt
beside me.

I felt your
presence-
hovering,
protecting,
adoring.

I am just
a babe.

And you,
are my
Mother.

Only One Way

I went into the kitchen at work to make some tea. A warm cup of spiced chai tea sounded good on a chilly November morning. To get to the kitchen I passed the basement steps.

Those steps leading down to the basement are wooden and narrow. As I glanced down I saw the sign, one I’d passed by many times and never noticed.

Funny how that happens.

It reminded me of a comment from a close friend a year ago.

“You only have one way to go- up!”

She was right. And since then I have learned I have wings, fledgling ones, that have grown stronger each time I try them out. Leaving the nest of my past was (is) hard and scary. I confess to being a tad bit afraid of heights.

But flight is not overrated.

Flight is amazing.

Dare to discover, right there in the darkness, that you have wings. When you are ready, use them to fly only one way-

UP!

IMG_0513

 

A Blank Page

My boss, Vince, saw it first.

“Hey! There goes a piece of paper blowing around! Wonder if it belongs to somebody?”

I turned to look, the white catching my eye, a full 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper that came to rest on the pavement outside the office.

“I’ll go grab it!”

My curiosity was piqued. Was it anything important?

I got to it before another autumn sweep of wind picked it up again. It was blank. Not one word written upon it.

I reached down and carefully picked it up, nodded, smiled, and brought it into the office, where I placed it on my desk. Took a quick photo with my phone.

Turns out that blank sheet of paper belongs to me. A gift with amazing possibilities-  to boldly take me to places no woman has gone before…

The countdown begins…3…2…1

I hope you find your own blank sheet of paper today.

IMG_0465

Lyrics from the song “Unwritten”

“I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten”

Ascension

No stars existed
not one pinhole of light
in the black
expanse of time and
space, a galaxy removed
from planets and people
feelings and truth
an unlikely cocoon
where a latent image
appeared, flimsy and
unfocused,
a haze on the
negative I dared to
hold up to the light

I reached for the
magnifying glass,
hoping to define it
and words spilled out-
breaking the silent
void of my womb
letters floating and
now captured
with each click of
my pen to paper
the image clear,
defined,
my own reflection
with wings

I flew up
and out.

 

DSC_0996

DSC_0997

DSC_0998

DSC_0999

DSC_1000

Hollow

once upon a time

i watched and waited,
impatiently, as grandmother sewed
her nimble fingers stitching the
last now one, two, three
stitches, and then she
draped it,
finished, lovingly around
my shoulders, kissed me
on the cheek, and pulled
up the hood

“when you are in the woods,
grandaughter, always wear the hood up.”

my name is Katharine. not red.
nor riding hood.

i skipped into
the heart of the forest
that day
obeying grandmother,
wearing the red she chose
instead of the green
i really wanted
distracted by picking
delicate white
flowers
amongst the brown leaves
and dirt of the forest
floor standing, sniffing their
aroma, pushing the hood
back only for a
moment.

from behind 
a familiar voice

“where are you going little girl?”

the big bad wolf drooled
licked his lips
gave direction
i listened, observed
his teeth, so white
so sharp
anxious to devour
my innocence
yet charming, sly
patient, proceeding
to grandmother
swallowing her first
the appetizer before
the main meal

me

i discovered
the small axe
the woodsman left
at the base of the tree,
my favorite one
where I sat
my back supported by its
strength
the handle smooth
I hid it
under my cloak
gripping it
tightly
as I walked
through
grandmother’s
door

“the better to see you with my dear…”

i
descended,
disappeared
into the
hollow
of
the
wolf’s
belly

my movement, restricted
my voice, silenced
by the gurgling
of the juices from
his thick stomach,
but then I remembered
the tool and
slowly, it took years
chop, chop, chop
i created space
and eventually
broke through,
escaped, emerged
born again

i killed the wolf

and grandmother followed me to freedom

The scars from his bite have become a deeply carved cavern, an empty bowl capable of collecting rain water.

DSC_0975

Enter

I ran my fingers, fanned out, down the length of the fence, past the open gate, getting up close. I stopped. I took my index finger and placed it at the pinnacle of the sharp point. I held it there, as I slowed my breathing. It didn’t hurt. I was okay. 

DSC_0943

I continued walking, head held high, anticipating something I knew awaited me just around the corner. I’d been here before, many times, but I was afraid to enter. Not anymore. I began to skip, quickly, ready to see, ready to lay hold of the treasure.

DSC_0953

I could see him just on the other side, through the shiny black bars, and I gasped with delight. He’d been waiting for me, patiently. To come, To enter, To simply be myself. This was my moment. And it was also his. Just a kiss, only a kiss, was necessary to bring him back to life.

DSC_0955

 I didn’t hesitate. My fingers touched lightly the ornately carved handle. I applied pressure, down and then back, pushing the gate wide open. His hand was on his heart, and so was mine, but soon, our hands, like our hearts already, would be locked, together, forever.

DSC_0958

Longing, when it is allowed, can become something more.